Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
