she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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