how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
