Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
