remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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