I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
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