so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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