I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
