I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
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