Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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