i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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