Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
