A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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