when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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