Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I want to be your penis for a week.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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