Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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