I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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