Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
