he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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