i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
