mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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