I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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