and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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