new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
