all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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