i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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