Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
