its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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