So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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