This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
