There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Randomize