my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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