I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
