There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize
