I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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