Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
