Why are handjobs necessary in class?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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