If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize