I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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