my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
