whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Sober January is a disaster.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
