We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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