she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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