there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
