Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
