We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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