dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He felt like a one man threesome
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
