I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
