I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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