what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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