i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
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