Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money

(813): View more from Florida

sounds like you understand them just fine

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(410): View more from Maryland

It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.

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(812): View more from Indiana

she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.

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(770): View more from Georgia

At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(254): View more from Texas

our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day

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(01): View more from

He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.

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(815): View more from Illinois

my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves

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(785): View more from Kansas

God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.

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(925): View more from California

my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.

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