I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
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I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.