my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.