There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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