Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
