dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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