then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
