I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
