Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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